Animal Friday!

Mehmaid

2012-02-10T19:43:00.000Z

The Mehmaid wasn't pretty enough to be included in sailors tales.

MexicanDog-EvilPlant

2012-01-16T22:42:00.000Z

The two worked together as an Evil gang during the 40's. Evil plant used to be a hamster until Mexican dog got his devil handpaws on it!

robo-bo-bo

2012-01-14T03:41:00.002Z

robo-bo-bo, eats baby food and upholds the law!

bumsnorgs

2012-01-13T09:33:00.002Z

these animals change colour according to mood and only eat exclusively from the john lewis food floor

blird

2012-01-13T09:07:00.001Z

fact: the early blird catches the perm. or something shit like that.

PieBunny

2012-01-08T22:27:00.000Z

The bunny was found at what seemed to be a mass pie picnic... but as it turns out if you touch the bunny you turn into a pie.

c-90 vixenmixen

2012-01-06T22:33:00.000Z

fact: one in every 900 packs of c-90 long play cassette tapes contained a classic c-90 vixenmixen mix of pure cliff richard. naturalists and dj's alike have long pondered how the vixenmixen managed to hold down both the play and record buttons at the same time whilst being made entirely of tape spoolant.

The Crust Of The Sun

2012-01-06T20:48:00.001Z

The Crust Of The Sun plants carrots in your garden in times of austerity.

Failure Cat

2012-01-03T23:45:00.001Z

Going nowhere fast.

BearCat

2012-01-03T17:10:00.002Z

Bear-Cats always cry at birthdays

glans macabre

2012-01-02T23:58:00.000Z

fact: watching alien whilst doing your tax return isn't a good idea.

Furted

2011-12-23T01:01:00.000Z

Every Christmas Furted creeps around your house, quietly as a mouse.

Santa de los muertos

2011-12-23T00:29:00.002Z

fact: Santa de los muertos, although builtmostly from animal skeletons, bulks up for the festive period on theshattered dreams of children. With his trusty steed stinky piere andan unhealthy fascination with gloria hunniford, santa de los muertostreks ever onward, pausing only to hang around shopping centres and expose his small skeletal winky to the elements/passers by.

ken

2011-12-18T23:57:00.001Z

fact: ken lurks stealthily until such time as your fecking landlord's dodgy fuses blow and your household is plunged into darkness. again.

Erotic Kitty.

2011-12-10T15:32:00.001Z

Erotic Kitty was busy doing something close to nothing.

the party favour

2011-12-09T01:00:00.001Z

fact: the party favour is a complete and compact office party rolled up into one animal.

The party favour enables discount business socialising by encompassing all the party hits including:

'the loud obnoxious one', 'the poser', 'the hot one' and 'the socially inept one'.

This party favour is attracting a mate, so is also displaying 'the fancy one' and 'the one so drunk they're vomiting everywhere'.

The Thundersnail

2011-12-02T00:00:00.001Z

Fact: The mighty Thundersnail sails across the seven seas, often accompanied by the majestic, Hideous-Legged Owl.

This unlikely duo while away the hours in search of mystery, adventure and quality parking spaces.

William

2011-09-29T21:42:00.002+01:00

William only knows one trick.

Grip

2011-09-23T19:47:00.000+01:00

Poor little Grip will burst if he's not careful.

Barbara

2011-09-01T21:50:00.000+01:00

Barbara is not really a bird.

protoduck

2011-08-27T23:35:00.000+01:00

fact: Protoduck is forged from the fleeting erotic gesticulations of all past present and future ducks. Manifesting as a gaseous cloud of rubber duckys, Protoduck swirls and gyrates about the universe seeking jazz mags.

Phillis

2011-08-27T17:02:00.003+01:00

"Put all my calls on hold" said Phillis, "I MUST attend to that shiny thing over there. It's just so DAMN SHINY." They were her last words.

vabbledras the cosmic dream monkey

2011-08-21T22:42:00.000+01:00

fact: vabbledras the cosmic dream monkey created all reality during a hilarious incident involving it's own feces and a bunsen burner.

Agamemnon

2011-08-21T18:00:00.002+01:00

Agamemnon is new in town.

Grant.

2011-08-13T23:41:00.002+01:00

Grant has asked you to dance.

The Squizzlyteet

2011-07-28T20:10:00.000+01:00

they get in your wizzles

The Fabulous Otter Boy

2011-07-15T18:38:00.000+01:00

A lovely freak...

Urban Bear

2011-07-02T19:18:00.003+01:00

You best walk on son.

Deviancy Fox

2011-06-24T19:20:00.003+01:00

Deviancy Fox would like some business acumen.

business ballbag

2011-06-24T14:02:00.003+01:00

fact: the business ballbag is 190% pure business acumen, squeezed into size 32 trousers.

Catduck

2011-06-10T01:08:00.002+01:00

Long considered extinct.

NicePear

2011-06-09T19:01:00.003+01:00

Curiously, much like a Picasso painting, both the NicePear's eyes and shapely behind will always appear to be facing you no matter what direction you approach it from.

captain carter the medieval space wombat

2011-06-03T20:01:00.001+01:00

animal friday

canon i-scavenge: business edition 2.0

2011-06-03T14:58:00.003+01:00

fact: the canon i-scavenge: business edition 2.0 wants to punch a window shaped hole right up in your schedule.

the pudgella

2011-05-29T17:31:00.003+01:00

fact: the pudgella can't really be bothered to go outside and would much prefer to sit about at home in it's pants.

Horse.

2011-05-29T16:40:00.004+01:00

With his rugged good looks and muscular single buttock, Horse has climbed to the top of the food chain and catalogue fashion world. Here we see Horse modelling the exclusive Jan Wange summer collection.

Relaxative Chimp

2011-05-22T18:29:00.004+01:00

The Relaxative Chimp can't actually relax, due to an unresolved childhood trauma, which has lead on to unresolved constipation.

Freitag blumenthal

2011-05-20T16:56:00.003+01:00

Fact: mr Blumenthal keeps all his important documents in his hat. that's his camera, his laxative chocolates and his super injunction to stop his wife finding about all those gangly armed hookers.

dirty old freitag.

Treelephantasmagoria

2011-05-01T15:16:00.001+01:00

The facts speak for themselves.

dangerous commuter

2011-04-27T20:55:00.000+01:00

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

Puffercat

2011-04-11T00:27:00.003+01:00

Puffercat sucks up all the animals in the yard. He is not on any database.

algernon

2011-04-08T18:25:00.003+01:00

fact: algernon enjoys animal friday so much that, faced with a severe animal drought of late, decided to dress up like an animal for our amusement. algernon tells us his ultimate fact is that he once found a body in milton keynes.

Sweet Buns

2011-03-12T17:45:00.003Z

Sweet Buns' catchphrase is "not a sausage".

2011-03-02T13:37:00.000Z

Cumcumbear

2011-02-25T21:16:00.003Z

Cumcumbear is the least popular character in the Pokemon™ franchise. Focus groups have put this down to it's fresh cucumber tongue.

Ratvan

2011-02-25T00:47:00.003Z

fact: Ratvan thinks batman can screw the hell off.

Holy Hard Times....

2011-02-24T22:03:00.002Z

...Batman, you've really let yourself go!!

Things have got so bad for the Batman, he's now auditioning for Animal Friday!

Doggy

2011-02-18T21:04:00.002Z

Doggy loves you, so very, very much. So much in fact, that he made some dentures out of your skin. Bless.

The Whipclump

2011-02-17T23:14:00.000Z

Name: Whipclump
Origin: Southern Africa
Average Adult Length: 1.62m
The Whipclump is a strangely moist hamster mutation.
It resides around landfill sites.
It lives on mattresses, exam invigilators, vests and brillo pads.
It will probably feel sorry for jam sandwiches.
Its famous trait is that it will pluck stupid minor celebrities.
It will definitely sit on magical innocent bystanders.
Unattended it can find time for dancing potato peelers.

jurassic shark

2011-02-12T13:58:00.004Z

factimum: sharks evolve backwards, so in the Jurassic period the common or garden shark was a mighty titan of industry. this proud specimen is notable for the double pens it prominently wears in it's pocket, to both ward off rivals and attract financial backers.

Jelly Business

2011-02-11T16:13:00.004Z

What with the recession an all Jellyfish, like Mark 27 (pictured above), are forced to seek work out of water. Some say he is out of his depth, but can he take the pressure? Mark has enjoyed wearing clothes and is quickly getting used to a life out of water. He has started speed dating at pet shops and stinging people to death who get all upatty about him "coming up here and stealing our jobs"....racists!

champion the wonder slug

2011-01-30T18:25:00.003Z

fact: champion the wonder slug attributes his fleshy mitten nipples to a strict diet of pomegranates and lurpak.

Jerboa

2011-01-28T13:58:00.002Z

The Jerboa is mostly known for inventing the game of chess

buffalo wings

2011-01-18T09:14:00.001Z

Buffalo wings are a majestic beast. They Soar through the air like a gracefull ballet dancer thats had one too many kebabs. When in danger it will fly and seek refuge in a strange toaster. The buffalo wing also likes to eat, giblets, scotsmen and beds.

Monkeyratcow

2011-01-14T21:38:00.004Z

"Butter hooves, butter hooves, butter hooves, butter hooves, butter hooves, butter hooves, butter hooves, butter hooves, butter hooves, butter hooves." That is the rumour that's going around.

business elk

2011-01-14T19:40:00.003Z

fact: business elk predicts a sharp decline in bracken this quarter.

The Cruffalump

2011-01-07T22:19:00.001Z

The Cruffalump suffers from back baldness and sore knees.

the spondoolicon

2011-01-01T23:22:00.002Z

fact: like most mammals, during the festive period the spondoolicon pisses away vast amounts of money from it's earholes.

Fun Time Party Pig

2010-11-27T17:35:00.001Z

"Wave your bones in the air like you just don't care."

dinosaur man

2010-11-22T11:17:00.003Z

fact: dinosaur man is a looking forward to another exciting day at his law firm.

Clumpy

2010-11-13T18:55:00.002Z

Each Clumpy develops their clumps for their particular purpose in life.

samouflage

2010-11-13T13:20:00.003Z

fact: despite it's marvelous natural camouflage, the samouflage is incapable of being inconspicuous, as you'd probably expect from a hippo wearing dungarees.

the mo-tankle

2010-11-07T20:50:00.005Z

fact: scientists are still unsure of the methods the mo-tankle uses to attach itself to the faces of unsuspecting manly beings. it appears during the night and immediately announces it's presence by baring it's little teeth at all and sundry. The mo-tankle is most common during the month of november and would appreciate pennies for biscuits please.

Electric Pukaloo

2010-10-29T19:55:00.004+01:00

If you've ever wondered where electricity comes from, the Electric Pukaloo will show you the light.

A Displaced Limbaty

2010-10-29T16:19:00.002+01:00

Eeee lavvzz a good cuppa, what with being a Mormon. But with his increasing Limb displacement it gets harder every time. It is thought that as this species reaches its final state of displacment they become a perfectly formed human like life form. Attractive, strong, healthy, normal...then they die.

spooky animal friday! the boogaloo

2010-10-29T13:15:00.004+01:00

fact: the boogaloo is completely intangible, apart from it's powerful manly legs.

the forlornigan

2010-10-24T23:02:00.003+01:00

fact: poor old forlornigan lives out it's long lonely life with a permanent insufferable hangover.

the bastards

2010-10-11T21:24:00.002+01:00

fact: GET OUT OF MY HAUS!

calendurge

2010-10-01T18:39:00.004+01:00

fact: the calendurge has been a fan of animal friday! since the beginning. it's even made a point of marking off every friday on it's face, so it doesn't forget. unfortunately, most fridays it just can't be arsed.

Fabio Side Mouth

2010-10-01T18:34:00.001+01:00

Famously slid down a banister using only his gums.

manda

2010-09-19T23:56:00.002+01:00

factimo: despite a fairly successful body building career and several wins at the annual mr beardiverse contest, the manda still has to supplement it's income as a KISS impersonator.

Bollusc

2010-09-10T20:23:00.003+01:00

Bollusc was an only child.

Blob Cat

2010-09-03T20:00:00.003+01:00

The Blob Cat is like the cat that got the cream, if the cream were nipples, nipples that sprout sporks. Here, he looks forward to holding a bountiful yield.

Dabchick

2010-08-28T02:13:00.001+01:00

Nothing to see here. Please move onto the next enclosure.

Fly.

2010-08-22T17:18:00.003+01:00

Facto-Presto: Felipe here is having trouble adjusting to being a fly, and second thoughts about the Cuban heels and frilly sleeves.

Ear Rests

2010-08-20T15:51:00.003+01:00

Ear rests are said to be alot more convenient than ear plugs, provided they sleep themselves.

Yodal Sack Jazz Hands

2010-08-16T12:02:00.002+01:00

This guy loves to yodal, but his face sack gets in the way, producing a raspy garggling sound, sometimes choking on his own sack when drawing in breath. To compensate he has a lot of jazz hands.

Chicken Leg

2010-08-15T16:18:00.002+01:00

Fact: Chicken Leg always arrives too late for the party.

Mugpie

2010-08-15T12:56:00.005+01:00

Fact: The Mugpie is the forest's debt collector. Just a friendly word of advice, but you might wanna have that money ready 5pm Friday. We wouldn't want anything to happen to those pretty knees of yours now, would we?

The Bombino

2010-08-15T11:26:00.003+01:00

Fact: Its guano has been known to destroy cities, and it is attracted to the smell of gunpowder

Meringue Utan

2010-08-15T10:53:00.002+01:00

A tirelessly irate beast, it stalks the plains of Candy Land constantly marking it's territory and preying on humans.

belk

2010-08-15T08:27:00.004+01:00

fact: the belk is a special breed of mollusk that has evolved exclusively to assist humans in keeping their trousers up. pictured here is a rogue belk, who, jacked up on absinthe and sherbet dip dabs, has stolen a pair of trousers and is off to wreak havoc in the local morrisons.

scared dried blood beads

2010-08-14T20:35:00.003+01:00

the scared dried blood beads biggest fear are finger nails.

Barnstaple

2010-08-06T19:47:00.003+01:00

Barnstaple enjoys hitch hiking whilst dripping molten juices from it's sweaty back sac.

bearloon

2010-08-06T10:26:00.003+01:00

fact: full of tasty helium, the bearloon isn't quite sure how he's going to get back down

roger

2010-07-30T21:06:00.004+01:00

fact: part animal, part spacious accommodation, roger comes fully furnished and is available from october for £120pw.

The OFFICIAL Animal Friday!™ Official Animal Finger™ ® puppetine.

2010-07-30T20:24:00.003+01:00

AT LAST! The OFFICIAL Animal Friday!™ Official Animal Finger™ ® puppetine, IS HERE!

SUPPLIED! a stove pipe hat, glasses, bird pelmet, removable finch beak, full frontal feathered arms, teat plate (with operational ears), pre-fingered shoes and *NEW* sexually digestive bow tie!

Gatwick

2010-07-30T08:45:00.000+01:00

If the Gatwick is on the brink of starvation, it has been known that they will attempt to eat themselves.

Now with added TWIT!

2010-07-28T07:48:00.002+01:00

http://twitter.com/AnimalFriday

The Power Snout

2010-07-25T20:04:00.000+01:00

The Power Snout used to be owned by Cliff Richard.

peaceful solo undersea knock off

2010-07-24T12:09:00.003+01:00

fact: face masks are in! peaceful solo undersea knock off is sold on markets and off the back of lorries. it's of far cheaper build quality and desires only half the action required by the hunting clan air transport.

Hunting-Clan Air Transport

2010-07-23T20:31:00.004+01:00

Hunting-Clan Air Transport is looking for a piece of the action, if there's any left over.

bumzilla

2010-07-10T22:13:00.003+01:00

up from the depths,

30 storeys high,

his face is a bum

and i'm not sure quite why.

bumzilla!

and bumzoooooky

fact: neotokyo will never be the same again.

the quadfaced bojingley

2010-07-04T14:27:00.004+01:00

fact: out of the quadfaced bojingley's four, individually self aware heads, the bum head always seems to do well with the ladies.

Tristan

2010-06-25T20:09:00.003+01:00

Tristan never wanted to be a Lord of Nature. But if he hadn't taken the interview, the Jobcentre would have cut off his benefits.

The Angry Belly Nub

2010-06-25T18:18:00.002+01:00

The additional head that sits below the neck really hates the head that sits on the neck...for it is a bit of a tit.

Petunia

2010-06-25T15:37:00.002+01:00

Fact: Petunia came runner up in the 'Miss least hideous beastie' competition four years in a row.

squidman

2010-06-20T16:14:00.002+01:00

fact: neither squid nor man, squidman is, in fact, a lady. squidman's inexplicable ladytackle is one of the 17 wonders of the sea.

Blute

2010-06-05T16:25:00.004+01:00

Blute cannot say a thing until the end of the court case.

the storking ant mcbastard

2010-05-31T21:14:00.003+01:00

fact: the storking ant mcbastard enjoys frequently interrupting picnics and kicking people until they hand over all the scotch eggs.